The Christmas List

The Christmas List

Before I met the love-of-my-life-boyfriend, Christmas presents did not come from a list. The way I grew up, you woke up on Christmas morning hoping for the best. Not that we were particularly poor or anything. Our Christmas presents were still always nice and often times sentimental. But even so, we were not ever inclined to this “wish list” thing. We were not a family open to entertaining the wants and wishes of our loved ones. Christmas was about Christmas Day Service at Church. And then cooking good food for Christmas dinner, and then perhaps some hot chocolate and a Christmas-y movie or something. NBD. In fact as I grew older, gift lists on Christmas used to disgust me. I could remember some of my young idiot middle school friends who lived in million dollar homes writing out their lists to their parents. “Mummy I want a Sega Genesis with no less than 15 awesome games, and a Xtra Super Soaker Gun, a Nerfball, a little pony princess castle, a ninja turtle kung-fu kit, a new wardrobe, 100 dollars, and a hamic for my room.”

I REMEMBER judging those little jerks in my head when they would talk about their lists in the hall between 7th period English and 8th period French class.  I thought of their lists as blasphemous selfish tools that pooped all over my Lord Jesus’s sacred name day. Luckily I grew up and out of that to become a well adjusted and non-bitter, poor adult. I truly did soften over the years and stopped caring about gifts entirely. Weird. Then right around Thanksgiving last year, I started getting included on all of these group-emails from my boyfriend’s family. Each member would send around a gift-list… practical little lists of gift ideas for themselves and others. They would add/detract little anecdotes and ideas about potential gifts for one another. They would Cc: eachother. It was very organized. And technological. It was logical. It was a straightforward and honest little system that they had clearly established years and years before I ever became relevant. I was observing a 21st century family at work and it was totally weird and strange to me…and wonderful all at the same time. How could you actually be that straightforward and businessy about what you desired for a christmas gift? And for the record, despite my former angsty teen years of considering Christmas gift-lists as sacrirelgious blasphemy, I learned to view their email exchanges with an open mind…because it made me curious. And because I am a beautiful, open-minded person who just wants world peace. So I stalked their lists, and wrapped some gifts up and then showed up Christmas morning with my boyfriend. LSS, Christmas day was immensely special and I witnessed a loving and feircely close and generous family give amazing gifts to eachother, laugh, eat, drink, talk and hang out with eachother. For them it was probably just a reggo’ (regular) Christmas, but to me and my brother (also in attedance that day) we thought it completely special and strange but only in all of the most beautiful and sentimental ways.

So most everyone of them had a list. Especially the brothers and sisters. They weren’t asking for incredible things. They were just honest little notes of their neccessary or desired items. ‘The List’ had taught me three things about their family. #1 that this was a family that could at the very least be honest with one another–a beautiful thing. Apparently I was raised in a dark cage somewhere unable to express my emotions and wants…jk. #2 their lists demonstrated their sincere knowledge of one another–especially the siblings. They truly knew what the other liked and disliked. And through their simple email exchanges, they seemed to be able to teach each other about one another. Kleenex please! And #3 they were all demonstrating love and genourosity. What more could our heavenly Father want out of us and be proud of? High five Jesus! and if there should be a #4, I also learned that this family was kind and generous to me after only knowing me for like…5 minutes. I think that day I walked away with sparkly nail polish AND a cupcake maker in the shape of a giant cupcake. A complete win. These people are total keepers. And The List is no longer a bad selfish thing…it is now a beautiful Christmas-y magical thing.

 and now I have a completely PRACTICAL and straightforward Christmas wish list of my own. My self righteous days are over and dammit it’s OKAY to want things and write them out on a list!  When I told Jason that i’d be writing about my list revelation, he found none of it funny and then reminded me to remember to add links to my wishlist items so that people could find the things on amazon.

                                                                                                                                Such a nerd. 

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Heather Kase Official Christmas List 2012

officially.

extremely specific, practical and not-selfish in anyway.

  • Michael Kors large GOLD totally awesome and killer ladies’ watch.
  • A cute sweater with elbow pads. I have sensitive elbows. no but seriously I like to dress like an old man.
  • any Kidrobot toy that is shaped like a dessert or breakfast.
  • Stella McCartney perfume OR Chloe perfume. I love both totally equally.
  • Bananagrams game. It’s a word game that comes in a sack. a banana-shaped sack.
  • A clothe’s steamer. So that I don’t have to continually put my wrinkly clothes back into the dryer, hoping that my outfit/uniform comes out looking decently professional.
  • any Merlot but no Cab.
  • my boyfriend to buy us a new washer and dryer to put in our house. I hate the ones we have now. I hate the dryer.
  • reduced fat cheeze-its. OR the white-chedder kind is good, too. Can you say, DELICIOUS!?
  • “Yummy Crochet” Kit, unless Amy Wolfe lets me just borrow hers. So I can crochet little sushi, and cupcakes and peapods!
  • AP US American History Flashcard set. So I can review a fact everyday. Just like in school. Because I can never grow up.
  • Any candle that smells like food, dessert, or clean linen. Stay away from the ones that claim they smell like “tropical places.” Those are a lie because NOTHING can possibly smell like a place. Because it’s a place. Have you ever gone on vacation to a place that smelled like “rainforest violet midnight lavender moon” or “cherry blossom island fusion”? -No. You have not. You HAVE however, gone to places like a tire store in which everything really does smell like a gross disgusting tire explosion. Places never have good smells unless you are in a beautiful pine forest. Or if the place has something cooking or baking in or near it. Candles should smell like delicious foods. For example, “fresh-baked pumpkin pie”, or “vanilla cupcake”, or a “pretty lavender flower”–all of these are wonderful-smelling and totally realistic.
  • stationary so I can write to you just like in the olden days. “emails are free, but stamps aren’t” -Charming Unknown Author.
  • socks with interesting designs on them. For example, the other day I saw a pair of socks with little feet on them. Monsters, ducks, eyeballs, hotdogs; if it’s printed on a sock I want those socks.
  • any type of yarn. any color. totally flexible. Just NO neon colors. And I prefer grays, blacks, whites, creams, and any actual color that isn’t neon or “hot”; for example “hot pink.” If you do I will make you a terrible scarf with it or something totally dreadful and I WILL guilt you into wearing it on your person.  Also, I like any color that can be made into a realistic cat, dog, or cute baby animal.
  • for everyone to accept wonderful Jesus Christ into their hearts. I’m going to put this in bold because it’s that important.
  • for everyone to accept wonderful Jesus Christ into their hearts.
  • any size wooden knitting needles. Wood needles are nice and better to knit with. Metal is so last year.
  • A unicycle. JK! already own one! boom! Keep your receipts!
  • a friendship bracelet. you know who you are. I love proposals.
  • any kind of cheesy “coupon” that involves QT, quality time with a friend, boyfriend, or family member. For example, my friend Jenny could make one for me that says “Present this coupon to me anytime and recieve a date with me to go to the movies and watch a chick flick..and then afterwards we can hit up a drug store and buy pregnancy tests just for fun!” I love shit like that. corny friend coupons.
  • flowers and cards and chocolates from my boyfriends*
*applies year round.
  • pantyhose or tights in nude or black and in size: not-fat/semi-tall. I wear them for work and rip them all the time so I really need loads and loads of them.
  • a cute travel-case for my toiletries. I trust your judgement on the pattern.
  • nice-smelling car fresheners. The rules about candles do not apply. For some reason I don’t want my car to smell like food or dessert, like “Creme Brule”, or “vanilla frosting.” Fake-place smells are okay in my car. Any smell for my moving-trash-recepticle-car is okay!
  • Laser hair removal. I don’t want to talk about it.
  • dog sweaters for my dogs. I like the Martha Stewart line.
  • crossword puzzle books or any kind of puzzle book so I have something fun to do on my travel assignments. I don’t like sudoku I don’t understand that devil-game of numbers. I like all the word-trivia-coloring kind of puzzle books.
  • a subscription to National Geographic’s historical magazine, The Arizona Republic, or Rachel Ray’s magazine, or a knitting magazine.
  • a lamp for my bedside table. Let there be light!
  • any cool t shirt with something clever on it. And by clever I don’t mean a Tshirt with a dumb statement like, “I’M HERE FOR THE PARTY NEXT QUESTION.” Obviously I mean to want something ironic, with a cute cat or president on it.
  • a really good mechanical pencil.
  • There is this cake pan at walmart in the shape of a GIANT cupcake. So literally you can make a cake to look like one large cupcake. Amazing.
  • New red classic TOMS size 8 1/2.

Thinking all of this out was time consuming and really hard. Obviously I have been suppressed for many years. Now get to work so you can afford all of this amazing stuff. Merry Christmas Earl family, Kase family and Wolfe family!

h